


O Creator, See Me Kneel

by ermakeys



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Having Faith, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern Boy in Thedas, Religion, i can't tag, mbit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-03-30 23:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 20,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13962315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermakeys/pseuds/ermakeys
Summary: "O Creator, see me kneel:For I walk only where You would bid me.Stand only in places You have blessed.Sing only the words You place in my throat."-Transfigurations 12:2Kahlil does not know how he landed in the game he played with his little sister. Does not understand why he was placed here, but he will be damned if he just sits by and does nothing while the Hero goes off to defeat the Blight. His sister would flay him alive if he let this opportunity pass him by.





	1. Highever Burns

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a companion piece to another two (three?) stories I am writing on. They all belong to the same world I am establishing as I play through the games again to establish my worldstate. I am writing these scenes from the game and they are small snippets that are either relevant for the over all plot or I just wanted to write. Basically these are snippets into how Kahlil arrived in Thedas and what he did which won't be fully shown in the main story that I am writing on.
> 
> Constructive criticism is appreciated and please call me out on anything that seems shifty. I can only learn from my mistakes. It's my frist time writing from a mostly male perspective and of a faith that is not my own sooo...
> 
> Perspective will be switching between various characters. Mostly just Kahlil and Cousland though.
> 
> Enjoy. :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Probably should mention... Trigger warnings for blood, violence and death.

28th Solace, 9:30 Dragon

It was the shouting that woke Kahlil. He blinked his eyes blearily at the sound and winced when he stared directly into an open flame. His head ached and he hissed as he slowly forced his eyes open again and took in his surroundings.

He was laying on cool, moist stone. There was the scent of smoke which nearly overpowered the smell of blood and… the sea? He could dimly hear shouting as if he was still wearing earbuds. The small room was odd. Grey stone masonry and wooden chairs and tables. Not in the style of his people.

The two dead men, bleeding beside him were also not of his people. Their skin was pale from bloodloss, but also the same kind of inherited pale that he recognised from Westerners from pictures and when they asked for tours. They wore armor in their Western style and swords and shields lay beside them.

Beside him.

Kahlil carefully rose into a crouch, letting his pounding head adjust to the movement and glanced down at himself. He wore the same armor as the dead men and there was a third set of sword and shield at his side. Why was he wearing this? He dabbed a finger at the blood on his right shoulder and grimaced when the blood smeared easily. Fresh blood. From the way his head hurt and his black hair clung to his skull, probably his own.

Renewed shouting, had Kahlil grab the sword and shield and slowly edge towards the half open door of the room. He’d never used a sword and shield of this style, but he’d adapt. He had to from the way he could hear people screaming outside.

They had good reason to scream.

Kahlil peered outside and saw men, women and children running within a walled town. Other men in armor were fighting and Kahlil frowned at their shields. There seemed to be two groups. A group with bears on their shields and the other with some sort of plant. A glance at his shield told Kahlil that he bore one of the plant shields. The bears were slaughtering all that came in their path while the plants fought to defend them. In vain. The plants were outnumbered.

Why did this feel so familiar? He had never left Jordan or been to the West. He had played a few video games in a european medieval setting, but never visited-.

His thoughts were interrupted when another group of bear soldiers ran past his door and into the town. Kahlil leaned back into what seemed to be the gate house of the town and watched them pass with wide eyes. They instantly joined the fray, butchering the townspeople.

How had he ended up here? What was happening?

There was no helping these plant people. The bears easily outnumbered them. Kahlil edged out of the gate house and towards the open gates. He needed to escape and figure out where he was. Discover how he had landed here and how to get back home to his family.

The bear soldiers were too busy to notice him slip into the dark woods outside of the town and the moment Kahlil felt like he was out of the torchlight, he ran into the woods. His breath fogged in front of him as he ran past lush green foliage and his mind spun with questions. This was no longer the desert.

He ran until he was forced to stop and Kahlil collapsed into a tree. He trembled from the run, gulping in air into his starved lungs and shaking his head despite the pain. The screams. He could still hear them ringing in his ears. Muffled, but they were still there.

The sight of two people and a dog rushing into his small space in the woods, had him swaying back into a standing position. He raised his sword and shield, blinking against the spinning from his sudden movement and gasped:”I have nothing to do with this. Just leave me alone.”

At least that’s what he thought he said. His ears were still ringing too much, but his lips moved and his throat had vibrated with sound so he had said something. Or babbled incoherently.

Dimly, he could hear them answer him and Kahlil grimaced, rubbing quickly at his head with the back of his sword hand. His sight was settling and he could tell that both had swords and daggers at the ready, eying him warily while the dog growled lowly. What made him gape and lower his sword and shield though was the man.

That was Duncan. Of Dragon Age: Origins. What. How was this happening? This was impossible. Duncan was a character from a game. Certainly not real.

His eyes wandered to the smaller woman accompanying him. Her light blue eyes were red from crying or the smoke and her armor and weapons were covered in blood. She had short blond hair split in the middle and she was shaking from head to toe.

A Cousland? Possibly?

If he was dreaming… Should he just go along for now? See where this went? Worst case this was all real. Best case he would die or fall asleep and wake up at home with a wild tale to tell his family.

He sheathed his sword and lowered his shield, pointing at his ears with a grimace. The two relaxed slightly, but still kept their weapons up. Kahlil made a fist and placed it over his heart, bowing deeply to Cousland. He had the Cousland plant on his shield. Maybe that way he could show his loyalty?

Suddenly the Cousland leapt forward and crashed into him, causing Kahlil to shout in shock and fall back with a pained cry. He felt the cool metal of her dagger against his throat and Kahlil froze, staring up at her furious expression.

“Who are you?”,she snarled and Kahlil forced himself to relax. Of course his ears stopped ringing for him to hear her now that she was threatening him. Couldn’t have gotten better sooner where he might have talked his way out of this threat? Kahlil swallowed thickly and croaked:”My name is Kahlil, my lady. I was guarding the gate house when… Howe’s men ambushed us.”

He sent a silent thank you to Sahar. She had played Dragon Age with him and fallen in love with the Cousland origin. So much that she’d gush about it to him and plot her revenge on Howe. The only reason he actually remembered the name.

“Why are you out here and not fighting Howe’s men?”,Duncan demanded and Kahlil forced his eyes to stay on the angry woman holding a knife to his throat. He winced when she pressed the blade closer against his skin and said:”By the time I came to my fellow guards were dead and another contingent of Howe soldiers had marched in. It was either leave and try to regroup or suicide.”

“Coward!”,Cousland hissed and Duncan stepped forward, lifting her blade arm away from his throat. She glared angrily at him and he shook his head, murmuring:”He is right, Lori. If he had gone further into town he would have been slaughtered. Better to live and fight another day.”

Cousland -Lori- tore her arm out of Duncan’s grip and got up with a growl. Duncan offered Kahlil a hand and he gratefully took the offer, stumbling to his feet. Kahlil glanced between the two hesitantly and picking up his shield slowly, he asked:”My lady, please, may I serve you?”

Lori opened her mouth probably to snarl something at him. Only to snap her mouth shut and hang her head bitterly.

“I am no longer your lady, soldier. I am to be a Grey Warden by Commander Duncan’s decree.”

Kahlil turned his head to eye Duncan and nodded slowly.

“Then would I be allowed to follow you until you take revenge on Howe?”

Duncan tilted his head, eying him cautiously. Kahlil stood straight, relaxed and tired. If he was stuck in this dream of the game, he may as well follow the protagonist. Or try to. To his and Lori’s great surprise, Duncan nodded and declared:”If you managed to fight your way out, you must be a capable warrior at least. I would offer you a place with the Grey Wardens.”

Well. That was even more surprising. Should he try? He might die during the Joining… Kahlil shrugged and held out one hand in a handshake. Maybe he’d finally wake up and he could tell Sahar about his crazy dream. At this point he was too tired to think too hard about it. As Duncan shook his hand and Lori watched in shock, Kahlil shook his head. Sahar, what had he gotten himself into?


	2. Dealing with Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lori Cousland struggles with her grief and anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to post on a weekly basis, but I don't like this work to only have chapter so I already added the second. Starting today it will be on a weekly basis.

5th August, 9:30 Dragon

Lori glared at the mane of her horse. It followed Duncan’s horse quietly and she could hear Kahlil’s horse following hers as the man sang quietly to himself in the same strange language when she had first seen him. The road was empty of any travelers, but they had still covered her and Kahlil’s shield with their cloaks. They were already nearly a week’s travel away from Highever, but Duncan did not want to risk Howe’s men finding them.

She grit her teeth, angrily. One more week. One more week until they reached Ostagar and she had to tell Fergus that their parents, his wife and son were dead. One more week before she could tell King Maric about Howe’s betrayal. Then they would ride out and-.

And nothing. She would not be among them. She was to be a Grey Warden now. Duncan had manipulated them all into a lovely corner where she had no choice but to become a Warden. Lori briefly raised her gaze to glare at Duncan’s back and her lip curled in anger.

Kahlil’s song became louder and Lori flinched, shooting him an annoyed look over her shoulder. Couldn’t he shut up for five minutes!? Next to her horse Havard whined lowly, sensing the anger boiling inside her.

Her horse snorted, stopping and Lori turned back forwards to see Duncan had pulled his horse short. Nudging her horse forward, Lori maneuvered her horse next to Duncan’s and saw five riders trotting down the road in their direction. Kahlil appeared on her other side and inquired:”Howe’s men?”

Lori tensed at his question and baring her teeth in a snarl began to reach for her sword. Duncan grabbed her wrist and shook his head, saying:”I cannot tell from here, but we should try not to cause any suspicion either way.”

That said, he clicked his tongue and his horse trotted forward again. Lori glared after him before making her horse follow him again. She tugged her hood further down and snapped her fingers at Havard to stay close. To her annoyance Kahlil kept pace with her with himself between her and the riders.

“My lady.”,Kahlil warned quietly when she reached for her weapons and Lori glared at him from underneath her hood. Her hands balled into fists at the reins even though they itched to grasp her sword and dagger. The urge became stronger when the five riders stopped in front of Duncan. Now she recognised the crests on the riders’ chest plates as belonging to the South Reach Arling.

“Halt! State your business!”,the lead rider called and Lori would have yelled at him that it was none of his business if Kahlil hadn’t kicked her leg. Instead her eyes bugged out as she bit her lip and repressed the urge to scream. Duncan bowed his head in greeting and answered:”Greetings, my friend. We are traveling to Ostagar to aid in the fight against the darkspawn.”

The riders glanced at each other uneasily and the leader grimaced at Duncan’s answer.

“You may want to turn back, friend. The Chasind are fleeing the Kocari Wilds in masses and what we’ve heard… It does not sound good.”,the leader suggested with a shake of his head. Duncan tilted his head curiously and asked:”We had heard that the King thought their chances were good against the darkspawn.”

The leader snorted bitterly, jerking his thumb back over his shoulder.

“Yes, that’s why our Arl is fleeing before the battle has even begun.”

“What!?”,Lori demanded, fingers digging painfully into her palms through her gloves. The leader glanced in her direction in surprise and then scowled, saying:”Aye, the Arl and his family are organising a hasty retreat. We’re some of the messengers that are to go through the Arling to encourage people to flee.”

“He’s-!”,Lori began to snarl, but stopped when Kahlil grabbed her wrist with a shake of his head. She yanked her arm out of his grasp and fumed silently. Abandoning his Arling while so many men and women fought to protect them. Arl Bryland was a cautious ruler, but she didn’t think he would abandon the fight.

“We thank you for your warning, but we will continue on this path.”,Duncan thanked the man and Lori sneered at the back of his head. The leader bowed his head, wished them well and he and his riders moved on. Duncan waved their own group on and Lori followed silently, feeling her anger bubbling under her skin. How dare they? How could they? Finally after they could no longer see the South Reach riders, Lori pulled her horse up and dismounted.

“My lady?”,Kahlil questioned with a puzzled expression when she walked back to him and she pointed at the ground, ordering:”Dismount. Now.”

She heard Duncan call something behind her, but she ignored him. Instead Lori glared up at Kahlil who held her light blue gaze with dark brown eyes. Slowly, he set down his reins and lifted a leg over the back of his horse. He dismounted with a thud and turned to face her, asking:”My lady, wha-?”

He grunted in shock when Lori punched him and he staggered back, touching one gloved hand to his now bleeding lip. Kahlil jumped back in time for the second punch and Lori yelled:”Never make me shut up like that again! I am a lady of Highever! You will not kick me or touch me!”

Kahlil managed to dodge her kick while Duncan yelled ahead of them. With a scowl, Kahlil growled:”We are both just Grey Warden recruits now.”

Lori shrieked angrily. No! She would always be the daughter of Bryce Cousland! Teyrn of Highever! They could never take that away from her! Lori ripped her dagger from it’s sheath and slashed at Kahlil who jumped back with a startled shout. Suddenly he charged forward and tackled her to the ground. Lori screamed, struggling against his heavier form and Kahlil managed to grab both of her wrists and pin them to the ground. She tried to kick at him, yelling:”I am a Cousland of Highever! Howe, darkspawn or the Grey Wardens can’t take that away from me! I won’t lose anything else!”

For the first time, Lori saw anger flash in Kahlil’s eyes.

“You think you are the only one to lose something that night!?”,he roared, leaning down and surprising her enough to stop kicking at him,”My family is gone! My friends are lost to me! I am the only one here to remember them!”

Kahlil loosened his grip on her wrists and leaned back, face twisted in anger and sorrow.

“I choose to live and spit in the faces of those that took them away from me. If that means joining the Wardens so I have a fighting chance, I will take it.”

That said, Kahlil pushed himself up and Lori felt her gut clench in guilt and sorrow. He was right. She wasn’t the only one to lose someone or their home. Her anger had drained out of her and all she felt was a great ache in her chest. Tears filled her eyes, trickling down and she covered her face with a sob. Havard whined beside her and she felt him lick at her face.

“On your feet, my lady. We have darkspawn to kill.”,Kahlil’s voice sounded above her and she removed her hands to see him offering her a hand up with a sad smile. His lip was bleeding from where she’d punched him with her armored glove and she could see blood staining his shoulder from where she must have grazed him with her dagger. Guilt had her sobbing even louder and Kahlil bent down to pull her up. He coaxed her up onto her horse and handed her dagger to her after retrieving it from where she’d dropped it. She accepted it, wiping at her tear-soaked face and choked out:”Kahlil.”

He looked up with an openly curious expression and she took a deep shuddering breath.

“Call me Lori. No more ‘my lady’, please.”,she said and Kahlil smiled up at her. He returned to his horse and after mounting, waved at Duncan to keep on riding. The older man eyed both of them before returning to his role of leader with a nod. Lori wiped at her face and waited for a humming Kahlil to ride up beside her.

“What have you been singing?”,she asked him quietly and Kahlil bowed his head, saying:”A mourning song that my mother taught me.”

Again, she felt guilt claw at her. He’d been mourning in his way and all she’d felt was irritation towards him. Taking another deep shuddering breath, Lori smiled shakily at him and asked:”Teach me?”

His eyes brightened in delight.

“Certainly, Lori.”


	3. Introducing Alistair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair gets a look at the two new Warden recruits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this week, but next week will be a long one so look forward to that. ;)

12th August, 9:30 Dragon

Alistair tried not to stick his tongue out after the mage. All he’d wanted to do was deliver the Revered Mothers message as quickly as possible and do his Warden duties. Instead the man had picked up on the insult the Revered Mother had intended by sending Alistair. Bloody fantastic.

His idea of sticking his tongue out after all was interrupted when the mage snapped at two people coming up the ramp and blocking his way. The man and woman moved aside with raised brows and glanced at each other before continuing up. This gave Alistair some time to look over the two coming towards him.

The man resembled Duncan to a certain degree. Black beard and hair, dark brown eyes, but hair that was pulled back in a ponytail and curled at the ends. He walked with slow measured steps, taking in his surroundings with curiosity. A sword was strapped to his belt and a shield at his back. The armor was fine, but had seen some use from the scratches and scrapes in it. Were those blood stains in the leather fastenings?

A young woman, armed with a sword and a dagger, walked slightly ahead of the man as if guiding him. Her steps were determined and Alistair felt almost intimidated as she approached him. Her light blue eyes and her gait demanded attention as if she were somebody important and everyone should move aside and acknowledge her. Her hair ended at her ears, short enough not to get in her eyes and the colour of straw.

Maker, she was lovely.

Then the two were standing in front of him. Waiting. Was he just staring at her awkwardly? Yes, yes, he was.

“You know one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.”

Yes, blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. That always made a good first impression. Good job Alistair. Alienated two people within two seconds.

They surprised him though when the man chuckled and the woman smirked.

“I know exactly what you mean.”,she drawled, rolling her eyes and Alistair grinned, relieved that his comment hadn’t fallen through. He nodded eagerly, declaring:”It’s like a party, we could all stand in a circle and hold hands. That would give the darkspawn something to think about.”

He delighted when he elicited a giggle from her and a laugh from the man. Glancing between the two he frowned at the two.

“Wait, we haven’t met have we? I don’t suppose you happen to be another mage?”

The woman shook her head, smiling.

“We haven’t. You must be Alistair.”,she told him and Alistair snapped his fingers, exclaiming:”Oh you must be Duncan’s new recruits, from Highever! I should have recognised you right away. I apologise.”

The two smiled at him and bowed their heads in greeting.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Lori and my companion is Kahlil.”,the woman introduced himself and Alistair bowed with a dramatic flourish, declaring:”The pleasure is all mine. My name is Alistair and as the junior Warden I will be accompanying you for your preparations for the Joining.”

“Duncan mentioned the Joining, but he did not explain any further…”,Lori trailed off, looking at Alistair expectantly. He winced and shook his head with a rueful grin, saying:”Sorry, I can’t tell you more than that. We should gather the other recruits and then Duncan can tell you more.”

Lori sighed in disappointment, but smiled at Alistair to wave at him to follow her. He was surprised how easily he and Kahlil fell into step on either side of her like two guards. Lori chattered away, bursting with questions for Alistair while Kahlil listened attentively. In fact Alistair almost forgot his presence as he answered another one of Lori’s questions until Kahlil drawled:”We should go collect the other recruits before Duncan sends out a search party. Not that I don’t enjoy watching the two of you fawning over each other.”

Alistair felt his cheeks warm and Lori smacked Kahlil’s arm with a hiss, only causing the older man to laugh. He did catch the shy glance Lori sent him before she marched on resolutely and he grinned after her. Funny, lovely and seemed to like him back. How had he gotten so lucky?

Now she only needed to survive the Joining.

Heart heavy again, Alistair followed the two recruits, praying that both would survive.


	4. Shield of Highever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lori contemplates what to do with her Highever shield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied, I'm sorry. Inspiration struck and I added two more chapters before the really long one. Oops. :/

13th August, 9:30 Dragon

Lori fiddled with the shield in her hands, smiling sadly at the Highever crest it displayed. She had managed to snag this on her way out of her home. It was a relief that it hadn’t landed in Howe’s hands. Yet she wondered how she could excuse carrying it when they were at war and every weight added to their packs was viewed critically.

She didn’t use a shield. Lori knew how to wield one when she had to, but she preferred her sword and dagger flashing as attack and defense at the same time. A shield weighed you down, forced you to take hits that with her fighting style she could dodge nimbly.

“Lori?”

Blinking, Lori looked up to see Kahlil standing in front of her with a bemused smile. She grinned ruefully up at him and setting the shield down, she said:”Apologies. I was wondering what to do with my shield before we leave.”

Kahlil glanced at the shield and his expression softened.

“I understand. It is hard to part with anything related to your family.”,he murmured with a bow of his head,”I merely wanted to tell you that I was going to go pray until we needed to venture into the Kocari Wilds.”

Lori nodded, pleased that Kahlil had told her where he was going. Her gaze returned to her shield when Kahlil turned away. What was she going to do with it? She paused in her contemplations though when she noticed Kahlil had stopped again.

“Perhaps you want to ask if Alistair wants to use the shield? His seems to be of lesser quality and he does not seem all too fond of the Chantry emblem on it.”,Kahlil suggested with some hesitance and Lori brightened at the idea. It would work. She’d be traveling with Alistair for the next foreseeable future as Wardens and he could discard a shield he did not like. Her family shield would still be in use and she could keep an eye on it.

“Thank you Kahlil. I think I’ll go do that now.”,Lori answered, jumping to her feet and hurried away, barely listening to Kahlil’s chuckles. Alistair was preparing for the excursion into the Wilds near Duncan’s fire, sharpening his blade and Lori stopped in front of him with a smile, asking:”Could you do me a favor Alistair?”

Alistair looked up, startled from his work and set his blade and whetstone aside.

“What is it?”,Alistair inquired, eyeing the shield she held already. Lori held the shield out to him and after a moment of hesitation, he took it, looking it over. She smiled when she saw how he admired the shield and explained:”This shield belongs to my family and I took it with me when Duncan recruited me. However I don’t use a shield when I fight. Kahlil suggested I could have you use it for now. We can’t afford to weigh down our packs, but… I’m loath to leave this behind.”

Alistair attached the shield to his arm and felt the weight of it on his arm, making a surprised sound in the back of his throat.

“It’s so light!”,he exclaimed with a glance up at her,”I mean, I’ll use it if you want me to. It’s much better than my own shield. Thank you.”

Lori didn’t think her smile could get any wider. However it vanished when Alistair tapped at the Highever crest, asking:”This is the Highever crest isn’t it? Did you serve the teyrnir?”

Had she served? Yes, she had served. Served and failed when it fell to Howe. Failed when her teyrn lay bleeding at her feet. Failed when her teyrna sacrificed herself so Lori may live.

“It’s my family crest.”,she said after swallowing thickly and Alistair frowned at her before he caught on. He gaped up at her and Lori grinned at his shocked expression. She began walking away with a small wave, laughing:”I will see you soon Alistair. Take good care of my shield.”


	5. The Joining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so short again! Augh!
> 
> But I liked it like this!
> 
> So!
> 
> Enjoy!

13th August, 9:30 Dragon

Kahlil licked his lips nervously as Lori drank from the Joining chalice. He knew she had to survive. He knew Jory and Daveth would die and they had. He knew many things about what was to come. He knew many of the possibilities and their various outcomes.

He did not know if he would survive the Joining though. If he was meant to become a Warden.

Lori handed the chalice back to Duncan and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She began to collapse and Kahlil and Alistair jumped forward, catching her. She contorted, mouth open in a silent scream and they lay her down on the stone floor.

“It is your turn to submit yourself to the taint.”,Duncan stated in the cool and almost tranquil tone he had adopted once the Joining had begun and Kahlil glanced up at the man. His heart rate sped up as he straightened and accepted the chalice from Duncan. He felt the warm blood of Jory on his hands as Duncan passed the chalice to him and combined with the stench from the dark liquid in the chalice, his stomach protested.

Perhaps he should have told them what he knew. Told them he wasn’t from Thedas. Not omitted the full truth. Then he could still help without risking…

Kahlil raised the chalice to his lips quickly before he could second guess himself anymore. He drank quickly, gagging slightly at the taste that passed his lips and handed the chalice back to Duncan. Pain shot through his heart that spread quickly through his body. Kahlil grasped at his chest with a choked shout and fell to his knees. His blood felt like it was on fire!

Pain shot through him again and he gargled, eyes rolling back into his head. In his ears he could hear the roars and growls of countless darkspawn. The screaming of their victims as some were cut down. Somewhere else how they quietly snuck closer to their next prey. He could feel them press closer to his skin, rough claws and fangs, dirty armour and their stench in his nose.

With an earth-shattering roar he could see it. Urthemiel, the dragon of beauty. Now archdemon of the Blight. He felt like he was kneeling before it and he quailed as it roared above him, not noticing him in the slightest like a single fish swimming next to a whale. He could feel the admiration and terror the darkspawn felt towards it and Kahlil closed his eyes whispering a breathless prayer.

Abruptly he felt the cool stone floor underneath him and the quiet sounds of camp around him. His body ached and Kahlil felt exhausted. As if he had spent an entire day running under the desert sun with no rest. Slowly he cracked his eyes open to see Duncan staring down at him with a neutral expression.

“It is finished. Welcome brother.”,Duncan murmured and Kahlil let his head roll to the side blearily to see Lori unconscious, but alive with Alistair tending to her. They’d lived. They had survived. With a small smile, Kahlil let his eyes close and welcomed unconsciousness.


	6. Light the Torch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is finally the long chapter I promised. It's two days late, but things were pretty busy. :D
> 
> This was actually the first chapter I wrote for this work and the upcoming series. It started with this.

14th August, 9:30 Dragon

Sweat trickled down Lori’s back as she hurried up the steps of the Tower of Ishal. Behind her she heard Havard’s claws clicking against the stone steps, Alistair’s and Kahlil’s grunts as the two men tried to keep up and the breathless panting of the Circle Mage they had picked up at the base of the tower. In the windowless staircase her thundering heart and her companion’s noises drowned out the screams she knew were outside from the battlefield and she nearly missed a step when her guts clenched at the thought.

How much time had passed? Had they missed the signal to light the tower and usher Loghain’s forces into the battle? Were they late? How many deaths would hang over their heads for being late?

At the same time she felt a surge of anger and frustration. The tower was supposed to be secure! The lower levels had been searched and they had been reported to be safe! Now the four of them had to clear the tower and its multiple levels in less than an hour. Something the remaining forces hadn’t managed despite their superior numbers.

Lori wiped sweat off that threatened to trickle into her eye and glared at the steps still leading further upwards. Tightening her grip on her sword and dagger, she gasped:”I swear to the Maker if this tower has one more level…”

“Last… floor…”,the mage panted, completely out of breath and Lori glanced back at him sympathetically. What she knew of mages fit into a thimble, but this mage looked like he was about to pass out from the exertion. He must not get a lot of physical exercise at the Circle and now he was forced to run up a tower while fighting darkspawn.

“We’ll finally get a breather then!”,Alistair quipped with a crooked, but weary grin at her when he noticed Lori glancing back at them. She flashed her fellow Grey Warden a quick smile, too tired to formulate a reply while Kahlil chuckled wearily. Despite her more sombre arrival, Alistair had managed to tease a few smiles and laughter out of her with his quips. Her mood had improved dramatically in Ostagar even with the darkspawn threat looming over them. Fergus’ vicinity, King Cailan’s promise of justice and Alistair’s good nature had all contributed.

She wanted to burst into tears of relief when she saw the end of the stairs and she leapt up the steps, two at a time. Her legs burned from the effort and she skidded to a stop once she reached the top, taking in the top level of the tower while the others caught up. The dead lay scattered about the floor or in small piles, a few crates smashed and scavenged.

The furnace where the signal was to be lit however was blocked by a huge, hulking shape. The grey-skinned creature was tearing into the carcass of what was once a person, making sickening tearing and crunching sounds as blood spattered onto the ground and its front. Its curled horns twisted wickedly over its head and Lori gagged at the sight of entrails, blood and cloth that clung to them.

Andraste have mercy on them.

Behind her Alistair, Kahlil and the mage had gone silent while Havard began to growl at the sight of the darkspawn. The creature looked up from its meal and slowly dropped the remains. Lori raised her dagger and sword slightly and Alistair groaned:”There goes our breather.”

The huge darkspawn roared as it raised itself to its full height and Lori forced herself to run to meet it. Havard charged ahead of her and she could hear Alistair and Kahlil follow them. She dodged the first claws swinging her way and swiped at the arm as it traveled past her with her dagger. Sweet Maker the arms on this thing were tree trunks. Now standing beside it, she felt her heart quail. Even Kahlil beside her seemed tiny next to the thing and he was taller than her.

“Alistair! Flank it!”,Lori yelled, hoping her voice didn’t sound too shrill. They didn’t need to know how intimidated and scared shitless she was right now. If anything that would set them into a panic.

A spatter of light hitting the darkspawn in the chest, had her jerking her head back. Ah good, the mage was firing at it. She slashed at the darkspawn with her sword and dagger, jumping back or ducking when it reached for her. The darkspawn roared angrily as she and Kahlil distracted it from Havard and Alistair at its other side and when it turned to face her, they harassed it.

Suddenly it turned from both groups and stomped towards their mage and Lori rushed after the darkspawn, stabbing at its legs desperately while Kahlil cursed, slamming his shield into it. Not the mage!

“Move, mage! Run!”,she shouted as loud as she could over the darkspawns thunderous snarls. Lori glimpsed the mage firing spell, after spell at the thing, paling as the darkspawn came closer and closer, ignoring its wounds. Damn it! Why was he holding his ground!?

The darkspawn finally reached the mage and too late he tried to run from it. With one hand it smacked the mage into the closest wall with a sickening crunch. Lori sunk her dagger into the darkspawn’s leg with a frustrated yell and it shook her loose with a twitch of its leg. Staggering back, Lori caught sight of the mage coughing up blood, but steadily pulling himself up on his staff.

“Alistair, hit it’s legs! Distract it!”,Lori roared, hope and relief spreading in her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alistair hitting the darkspawn’s left side and with a flurry of her dagger and sword, she attacked it’s right. Kahlil moved to the darkspawn’s front to block it from the mage and slashed at it with his sword. Havard flashed into her field of vision as he harried the darkspawn while they tried to buy the mage time to recover.

The darkspawn though had other plans.

It kicked Lori back and swiped Alistair onto his back and lowered its head and horns. It braced itself with its two hands before charging right at the mage and Kahlil. Lori coughed from the blow she had received and felt her stomach twist as blood shot up along the wall and over the darkspawn’s head. Kahlil meanwhile had been bowled over and lay on the floor, groaning in pain.

Shit.

“Havard! Heel!”,Lori barked, taking a few steps back and the mabari crouched at her side, growling loudly. Alistair had gotten to his feet and looked greener and paler than before. Kahlil was dragging himself to the side, nursing a potion and trying to stay out of the way for now. Lori sheathed her dagger to quickly toss a mabari crunch at Havard and then a potion at Alistair, ordering:”Bottoms up!”

She barely had time to down her own potion for her aches and pains when the darkspawn had recovered from running into the wall. It turned on them with a roar and charged at Lori. She barely dodged the first swipe when the second hand grabbed her around the waist, causing her to squawk.

Desperate, she dug her dagger into the darkspawn’s wrist as it raised her higher which only seemed to anger it. It tightened it’s grip on her and Lori gasped as her ribs creaked in protest. Her vision began to flicker when it dropped her with a high pitched shriek.

The moment she felt herself land, she rolled away and struggled to push herself up, sucking in air. She looked up in time to see Alistair dislodge his sword from the darkspawn’s knee and Havard clamping his teeth in it’s ankle. Head feeling light and a salty taste in her mouth, Lori pushed herself up and spat out a glob of blood and saliva onto the floor.

Gritting her teeth, Lori charged forward with a snarl and the darkspawn answered her snarl with a roar and flinging some stone debris at her. It clipped her shoulder and she spun for a moment before steadying herself. She brought her sword up in time to block a swipe of its claws and she lashed out with her dagger.

The darkspawn howled in frustration and twisted in place to pick Havard off it’s leg and cast him aside. Lori took half a step towards Havard where he landed with a pained yelp, screaming:”Havard!”

Another shout had her spinning back to the darkspawn.

It had grabbed Alistair and was lifting him up, like it had her earlier. Alistair’s shield clattered to the ground as he pounded his fist at the hand grasping him and gasped as the grip tightened. Lori leapt forward, sword and dagger flashing in a flurry of blows and she yelled:”Void take you! Put Alistair down!”

The darkspawn ignored her, instead beginning to smash it’s fist into Alistair and Lori shrieked in wordless fury. She was not losing her new companion! The Maker was not taking him too! Sword flashing and slick with black blood, Lori rammed it high into the darkspawn’s side and used the leverage to lift herself up higher. Her left hand buried her dagger deep between two ribs and the darkspawn roared in pain. It spasmed, shaking Lori loose and she dropped to the ground, releasing her grip on her weapons with a gasp. The darkspawn fell to the ground with a loud rumble and Lori gasped breathlessly, watching and waiting for it to get up.

But it stayed down.

Had she actually killed it?

Trembling from the effort, Lori rolled onto her side and pushed herself onto her hands and knees. She kept her eyes trained on the darkspawn, but it didn’t even twitch in the suddenly silent room. Then she finally noticed Alistair lying on the ground, near the darkspawn and her heart lurched when she didn’t see him moving.

“Alistair!”,she gasped and pushed herself to her feet. Lori held her aching ribs with a groan and stumbled over to where Alistair lay. She nearly fell on top of him in her rush and ripped his helmet off, whispering:”Come on Alistair. Wake up, please!”

She wiped blood away from a gash on his forehead and patted his cheek worriedly. He groaned, shifting slightly and finally squinted his eyes open. Lori laughed breathlessly in relief at the grimace he made and he grumbled:”Can’t I take a break now please? Everything hurts.”

“No rest for the weary I’m afraid.”,Lori chuckled, patting his cheek and Alistair whined:”Seriously? I just got punched by an ogre!”

Lori laughed quietly, letting her hand rest on his cheek and smiled down at him. Thank the Maker he was alive. Alistair grinned up at her and reached up to rest one hand on her forearm. Lori gazed down, suddenly mesmerized by his hazel eyes. He had freckles dusting his brown skin…

A quiet whine and awkward cough snapped Lori out of her study and she jerked back, feeling herself blush. Embarrassed, Lori searched for the source of the whine and spotted Havard, limping towards them with Kahlil following him. She pushed herself up with a wince and reached towards Havard, crooning:”Oh what a marvelous boy. Havard, you are such a good boy. Come here.”

Havard perked a bit at her words and smiled as he limped to her side. She rummaged in her bag and fed him a few crunches, murmuring encouraging words to him, while Alistair pushed himself into a sitting position.

“Hey I did a good job too. Do I get a treat too?”,Alistair complained and Lori chuckled, taking out two potions from her bag. She held the potions above him and out of his reach with a grin and teased:”Up, boy.”

Alistair huffed with an amused shake of his head while Kahlil laughed.

“She’s training you, Alistair.”

That earned the man a deadpan stare that had Kahlil and Lori sniggering.

“Come on. Be a good boy and get your treat.”,Lori continued to tease and Alistair narrowed his eyes up at her. Finally he pushed himself up with a grunt and she raised the potions over her head. Alistair stepped closer, reaching up easily to snag one of the potions with a smug grin. Lori meanwhile suddenly found it harder to breathe and felt her face warm. He was standing very close and while she wasn’t short for a human woman, he was at least a head taller than her.

She stepped back and hoped the blood that had sprayed over all of them would cover her blush. Judging from Kahlil’s smirk it wasn’t really working. Lori quickly downed her potion and tucked the empty vial back into her pack. She grimaced at the bloody mess that used to be a mage and removed her sword and dagger from what Alistair had called an ogre before turning to the furnace.

There was no time to mourn now. They had a job to do.

“Let’s light this up, shall we?”


	7. Vir'la'falon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM LATE AGAIN AND I AM SORRY. LIFE IS HARD.
> 
> This chapter is short again. I only intended for Flemeth and Kahlil to interact very briefly. ;)

16th August, 9:30 Dragon

Kahlil ran his rag over Lori’s armor again and again. His mind was balking at everything that had happened recently and it was numbing to clean their bloodied armor. Alistair was withdrawn and sitting at the edge of the pond in front of Flemeth’s hut while Lori still slept inside of the hut. Morrigan was tending to her and Flemeth…

He gripped the rag tighter and rubbed at a stubborn bloodstain with a frown. The woman had been watching him intently and whenever he met her gaze, she smirked. It was disconcerting to say the least. Especially knowing what he did about her.

“It is good to see one Warden preparing for the road ahead.”

Kahlil looked up to see Flemeth standing in front of him. He watched as she picked up one of his vambraces and inspected the cleaning job he had done. He turned his gaze back down to Lori’s chestplate and shrugged, sighing:”I am mostly providing my mind with a distraction. I… am finding all of this hard to come to terms with.”

Flemeth nodded, dropping the vambrace back to the ground.

“Certainly. Waking up in a world not your own, would shake even the hardiest soul.”

Kahlil froze. Did she just-? How did she-? His thoughts were interrupted by Flemeth’s quiet chuckle at what must have been an amusing expression.

“I expect to hear great things about you vir’la’falon.”,Flemeth declared and began to turn away. Kahlil leapt to his feet and Flemeth paused, watching as he struggled to voice his jumbled thoughts. Finally he swallowed and whispered:”How do you know? Is this actually real? Why was I brought here?”

Flemeth chuckled, shaking her head.

“So many questions. Unfortunately I do not know as much as I would like.”,Flemeth answered with a wave of her hand and Kahlil’s shoulders sagged in disappointment. She smirked at him and Kahlil flinched when her eyes began to faintly glow yellow. This was Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds. He had to be careful. Flemeth smiled and continued walking away, cackling:”Besides, where is the fun in giving you any answers when you already know so much?”

Kahlil ran a trembling hand over his face. This just became much more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I wrote this I could absolutely imagine Flemeth's lines in her voice and I was so creeped out. Yikes.
> 
> Elvish courtesy of: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359253?view_full_work=true
> 
> Vir'la'falon - Path-many-friend/guide. Guide of many paths.


	8. Prayer

20th August, 9:30 Dragon

Alistair watched Kahlil, puzzled, as the man kneeled on his cloak a bit away from the rest of them, facing east and praying. Lori had called the short rest before they reached Lothering after Kahlil had exchanged some hushed words with her and he had immediately left their small group to begin his prayers.

“This is his second time praying today in such a fashion.”,Morrigan groused from here she stood impatiently,”Will such delays continue or shall we allow the horde to catch up with us?”

As loath as he was to agree with the witch, Alistair was anxious to move on too. Lori though continued to rub Havard’s belly with a fond smile and crooned:”Leave him be. Kahlil knows how to time it himself. He proved as much when we traveled to Ostagar with Duncan. He didn’t mind and neither do I.”

Alistair winced when she casually mentioned Duncan. It still pained him to have lost nearly the entire Order in one battle while Lori and Kahlil… They both seemed so non-chalant about it all. Especially Kahlil. Lori had looked stricken and then grim when she had woken in Flemeth’s hut. Kahlil had heard the news, closed his eyes and after a several minutes continued as if nothing had happened. The two had even begun singing quietly together on occasion.

“Ah the pious Warden returns to us!”,Morrigan mocked and Alistair looked up to see Kahlil attaching his cloak to his shoulders as he approached them. Kahlil raised a brow at Morrigan with a grin and the mage sneered at him, demanding:”How many more times will you pray today, dear Warden? Will you continue to delay us by asking your precious Maker for answers?”

Kahlil chuckled and Alistair marveled at how easily he took her mockery.

“I will be praying three more times today.”,Kahlil answered as Lori got up from her crouch so they could continue on their way,”If circumstances allow it, I pray five times a day. Since we are not in acute danger right now, I asked Lori if she would allow it.”

Lori began marching forward with Havard at her heels and the rest of them hurried to follow.

“And I did.”,Lori stated firmly and Morrigan scowled darkly. Alistair smirked as she stomped past him and Kahlil rolled his eyes at Alistair at her antics. Morrigan muttered to herself before exclaiming:”Is five times not excessive for worshipping something that does not exist or do you enjoy prostrating yourself?”

Alistair glanced at Kahlil who simply sighed, shaking his head.

“I perform salah because I find comfort in it, Morrigan.”,Kahlil explained patiently,”I was taught to pray five times a day and comfort can be found in rituals and habits from when things were easier.”

Salah? Alistair briefly considered asking what the word meant, but before he looked stupid and Morrigan mocked him again, he kept his mouth shut.

“Oh yes, let us find comfort investing time in an imaginary figure in the sky.”,Morrigan scoffed and Lori glanced back with a frown about to intervene. Kahlil though shook his head again and in a strained voice, said:”I have lost everything, Morrigan. Twice within weeks. Salah times is all I have left. Let me have this.”

That said, he lengthened his strides and soon outstripped all of them, Havard bounding after him happily. Alistair blinked in shock and Lori glowered at Morrigan, hissing:”Was that really necessary?”

Alistair tuned them out as they began to argue and followed Kahlil and Havard. It comforted him a little to hear that Kahlil was mourning. He was suffering from what had happened. He was just dealing with it in his own way.


	9. Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There go my ideas for weekly updates. I have a bunch of little snippets written down, but exams really beat me down. Then my laptop decided it didn't want to work anymore. Or only sporadically. At a time where I can't afford to get a new one. A+ timing right before I start writing my thesis.
> 
> So I'll update when I can... For now have Lori and Alistair being adorable.

21st August, 9:30 Dragon

Lori yawned, returning from checking the perimeter of their camp with Havard at her heels. They had left Lothering behind this morning and while she was glad to have Leliana and Sten as part of their group, she didn’t want to leave the more crucial tasks to them yet. She didn’t know them yet and while she’d had a lovely conversation with Leliana earlier and a somewhat one-sided talk with Sten, Lori wanted them to settle in the group first.

Morrigan had promptly set herself up away from the rest of them and no matter what Lori said, Morrigan refused to join the main fire. Sten had done his own survey of the perimeter before Lori had left for hers without a word and ignored all of them except Havard. Leliana had been sociable and regaled Lori with a few tales from Orlais and stories of Flemeth, Aveline, Shartan and Andraste. Kahlil still watched everything with something akin to fascination, shaking his head and muttering in his strange language every now and again.

And Alistair…

Her Grey Warden comrade sat alone at the fire, staring blankly into the flames. Lori’s heart clenched at the sight of him a million miles away again. Right after Ostagar he’d been doing the same, completely tuning out. He’d started to come out of it in Lothering and she’d hate for him to keep up the pattern. She needed his help.

Lori strode purposefully to where Alistair sat, leaning against a log and stood next to him for a moment. When he didn’t react, she frowned in concern.

“Alistair?”,she called uncertainly and in a hushed voice. The others had already gone to their bedrolls. She didn’t need to wake them. However her quiet call seemed to make Alistair snap back into the present and he blinked up at her startled, asking:”What do you need?”

Still concerned, Lori sat down next to him and fidgeted with her fingers, unsure about how to proceed. Havard wedged himself between them with a heavy sigh and Lori ran her hand over his head. With a glance at Alistair’s puzzled expression, she asked:”Do you want to talk about Duncan?”

He winced at her words and Alistair focused his hazel eyes on his hands.

“You don’t have to do that. I know you didn’t know him as long as I did.”,Alistair mumbled and Lori reached over to place a hand on his arm. Once he met her light blue eyes, she smiled sadly at him and murmured:”He was like a father to you.”

Memories of her own father flashed before her eyes and Lori swallowed thickly when she remembered the last time she had seen him. Bleeding. Dying. In agony from his wounds and the betrayal.

“I understand.”,she forced out, forcing her voice to remain steady. Thankfully Alistair didn’t seem to notice. Instead he lowered his gaze again and his hands clenched into fists as he sighed:”I… I should have handled it better. Duncan warned me right from the beginning that this might happen.”

Havard lifted his head and plopped it down on top of Alistair’s hands with another sigh, making Lori and Alistair smile at the mabari. Lori watched as Alistair ran a hand over Havard’s head and his smile faded into a rueful expression. He glanced at her nervously, saying:”Any one of us could die in battle. I shouldn’t have lost it, not when so much is riding on us, not with the Blight… and everything. I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologise, Alistair.”,Lori reassured him softly,”We all grieve in our own ways, though granted people don’t usually have the threat of the Fifth Blight hanging over their heads. Given the circumstances I think you are doing remarkably well.”

She winced when she remembered how she had screamed at Kahlil once they had gotten away from Highever. Kahlil had allowed her to attack him, deflecting each blow and allowing her to scream and yell, Havard whining at her side and Duncan watching cautiously. The first week riding to Ostagar she had flipped between fury and crying. The second week of riding Kahlil managed to break through to her.

Alistair’s grateful smile made her lose her reflection on how she had handled the loss of her parents. Trying to ignore how her cheeks heated, Lori focused on running her hands through Havard’s fur. The fire crackled in front of them and she blamed the fire for the warmth on her cheeks.

“I’d… like to have a proper funeral for him. Maybe once this is all done, if we’re still alive. I don’t think he had any family to speak of.”,Alistair interrupted the silence that had settled between them and Lori glanced at Alistair, saying:”He had you.”

Alistair smiled into the flames at her words.

“I suppose he did.”,he murmured, rubbing Havard’s ear,”It probably sounds stupid, but part of me wishes I was with him.”

Lori frowned at him, puzzled. Did he mean...? He looked up to see her confusion and he grimaced, saying:”In the battle. I feel like I abandoned him.”

She lowered her gaze, sadly and picked at a clump of dried mud in Havard’s pelt. Was it stupid to feel like that? Yes. Could she help feeling the same? No. Especially not after what had happened in Highever.

“No, I understand completely.”,Lori answered softly and Alistair shook his head, sighing:”Of course I’d be dead, then, wouldn’t I? It’s not like that would have made him happier.”

Lori let her hands card through Havard’s fur and her thoughts wandered. To Ostagar and Highever. Both had been disastrous. She had survived both against all odds. Her fingers twitched in Havard’s fur as she resisted the urge to clench them in his fur. She had no right to have been so fortunate to survive both. Her parents, Oriana, Oren, Dairren, Nan, Adolus, Duncan, King Maric… So many deserved to be alive. Should be alive and yet the world was left with her.

“I think he came from Highever, or so he said.”,Alistair mused aloud and Lori blinked at him as he continue:”Maybe I’ll go up there sometime, see about putting something up in his honor. I don’t know.”

He shrugged and Lori nodded silently. After the Blight. After Highever had been freed. Then her parents and everyone of Highever could be honored. Alistair glanced at her uncertainly and stammered:”Have you… had someone close to you die? Not that I mean to pry, I’m just…”

Lori flinched at his question. She had brought this question on herself really by starting the conversation… Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to look Alistair in the eye and said:”My entire family was murdered just recently.”

If the conversation wasn’t tearing at her heart, his expression of horror and then guilt would have been amusing to her. As it was, she looked down and stroked Havard’s fur again. Alistair stuttered a few times until he finally groaned:”Oh, of… of course. How stupid of me to forget. Here I am going on and on about Duncan and you…”

A large hand suddenly closed around one of hers and Lori raised her eyes in surprise to see Alistair gazing at her with sympathy.

“I’m so sorry.”

Tears rose in her eyes and she sniffled, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. She squeezed his hand gratefully and heard him try to control his own emotions with coughs and wiping at his face. How had she been gifted with this sweet man as a companion? The Maker certainly worked in mysterious ways. When they both had themselves under control, Alistair squeezed her hand and released her with a heavy sigh.

“Thank you. Really, I mean it. It was good to talk about it, at least a little.”,he said and Lori nodded in agreement, murmuring:”I’m glad I could help, Alistair. If you ever need to talk about something, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Oh you’ll regret saying that to me. Everyone does.”,he chuckled with a smirk and Lori shoved his shoulder, laughing:”Go to bed you ass. I’ve got first watch.”

Alistair got up, laughing quietly and began to head for his tent. Lori gazed after him for a moment and after hesitating briefly, called:”Alistair?”

He stopped and turned to face her halfway with a curious look. Lori brushed back some of her short blond hair, feeling shy all of a sudden and mumbled:”Maybe I’ll go to Highever with you, when you go.”

Lori chanced a look at him to see him staring at her in surprise and then an excited smile spread across his face. He nodded eagerly and exclaimed:”I’d like that. Thank you.”

Damned fire was warming her cheeks again.

“Sleep well, Alistair.”

“Good night, Lori.”


	10. The Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing my thesis and wishing it weren't so...

27th August, 9:30 Dragon

Lori watched with wide eyes as Templars ran across her path as she was guided towards the Knight-Commander. The Templars seemed in uproar, weapons drawn, rushing supplies around and fortifying their position. Behind her Alistair, Leliana and Kahlil stayed close and watched the Templars scurry about them madly.

“The doors are barred. Are they keeping people out? Or in?”,Alistair demanded quietly and Kahlil sidled closer to Lori, murmuring:”I have not seen a single Mage yet. Something must have gone very wrong in the tower.”

That was an understatement.

Their guide from the docks brought them to a grey haired man and whispered something to him before hurrying back. The older man frowned at Lori and she straightened instinctively. He reminded her of her old arms master and if she was not respectful, she had the feeling that he would smack her down like a fly.

“I hear you are Grey Wardens and want the support of the Circle.”,the man stated in an annoyed voice,”I am Greagoir and the Knight-Commander of this Circle. Unfortunately you come too late.”

Lori bowed her head respectfully to the man.

“Warden Lori, at your service. May I ask what has happened?”,she inquired and Greagoir considered her with a raised brow. Finally he nodded curtly and waved at her to follow him. He led them towards a great double door and explained:”I will speak plainly. The tower is no longer under our control. Abominations and demons stalk the tower’s halls. We saw demons and abominations hunting Mages and Templars alike. I realised we could not defeat them and told my men to flee.”

Her mind raced. They needed the Mages and Templars. Desperately. Yes, what was happening here was awful, but she needed them to win against the Blight. She shuddered at the memory of how Fergus used to frighten her with stories of demons and abominations.

“Is there some way we can help?”,she offered hopefully and Greagoir grimaced, saying:”I have sent word to Denerim, calling for reinforcements and the Right of Annulment.”

Judging by the way Alistair and Leliana gasped, Lori guessed this was not a good thing. She glanced slightly puzzled at Kahlil to see him frowning with lips pressed into a thin line. Alright she was the only one who didn’t seem to know what the Right of Annulment was.

“I apologise, but I am not familiar with the Right of Annulment.”,Lori said, feeling embarrassed and Greagoir waved dismissively, explaining:”The Right of Annulment gives us Templars the authority to neutralize a Circle completely.”

Neutralize a Circle? Completely? Just… kill every man, woman and child in the Circle? Images of Highever and the slaughter there flashed before her eyes and Lori felt the blood drain from her face.

“The Mages are probably already dead.”,Alistair stated and Lori glanced back to see his saddened expression,”Any abominations remaining in there must be dealt with no matter what.”

Lori’s eyes widened in horror at his hidden suggestion. How could he even consider-?

“The situation is dire.”,Greagoir interrupted her thoughts,”There is no alternative. Everything in the tower must be destroyed so it can be made safe again.”

To Lori’s surprise, Kahlil took a step forward still frowning.

“The Mages are not defenseless. Some must still live!”,he argued in a heated voice and Greagoir shook his head, sighing:”If any are still alive the Maker Himself has shielded them. No one could have survived those monstrous creatures. It is too painful to hope for survivors and find… nothing.”

Greagoir winced at his own words and he grimaced as if in pain. Lori exchanged a look with Kahlil and she loudly declared:”I will look for survivors.”

The Templars around them stilled and a hush fell over the hall. Greagoir ignored their audience and frowned at her, saying:”I assure you, an abomination is a force to be reckoned with and you will face more than one.”

“Grey Wardens are also a force to be reckoned with.”,Kahlil drawled and Greagoir glanced at him with narrowed eyes before addressing Lori again:”A word of caution… Once you cross that threshold, there is no turning back. The great doors must remain barred. I will open them for no one until I have proof that it is safe.”

Lori nodded grudgingly. She could accept his caution. He was right to be after losing control of the tower to abominations and demons.

“I will only believe it is over if the First Enchanter stands before me and tells me it is so. If Irving has fallen… the the Circle is lost and must be destroyed.”,Greagoir gave her his condition and Lori nodded again. She looked to her three companions and while Alistair and Leliana looked a little hesitant, she saw fierce determination in Kahlil’s eyes. He gripped the hilt of his sword, asking:”Shall we go save a tower?”

Lori smirked and turned back to Greagoir.

“Let us in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and go instantly to the next chapter as an apology from me for taking so long to update. :D


	11. Once Upon A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ENJOYED WRITING THIS SO MUCH KAHLIL IS MY SWEET BOY

27th August, 9:30 Dragon

Lori yelped when she regained her senses and felt the ground tilt beneath her. She flailed and barely managed to stabilise herself in the uneven terrain under her boots. The fade pedestal reduced it’s light to a faint blue glow and Lori stared wide eyed at her surroundings.

A desert mountain. She was in a desert. The sun shone harshly down on her and despite it being a dream, Lori felt herself break out into a sweat in her armor. Maker, she’d only seen the desert out of the distance when her parents had taken her to Orlais. Grimacing, Lori began to trudge up the side of the mountain she had landed on. Perhaps at the top she’d get a good view of the area and find whoever was caught on this Fade island.

Was this Leliana’s dream? Or maybe Wynne? Alistair had mentioned he had never left Ferelden before so it was unlikely to be his. Then again for all she knew it might be Kahlil’s dream.

At the top of the dune, Lori shielded her eyes and searched the horizon. Mountains, mountains, sand and oh look more moun-. Lori lurched a step forward with a gasp when she saw great towers in the distance. They glittered and shone, towering up high. At their bases, buildings sprawled out in all directions. Beyond this bizarre city the ocean glittered with strange shapes drifting across it at speeds she didn’t think was possible.

Lori snapped back to her immediate surrounding when she heard a whinney and turned in time to see a small band of riders crest a mountain ridge slightly below her. The horses wore strange bangles and the riders were outlandish as well. Strange clothes and swatches of cloth wrapped around them and their heads. Lori watched warily as they spotted her, pointed and then began to gallop her way, screaming and shouting.

Hand resting on the hilt of her sword, Lori carefully descended from her mountain crest, approaching them. Perhaps they could point her in the direction of one of her companions? She passed the fade pedestal and did her best not to trip on her way down. How the horses managed she did not know.

Once at an even space, she waited as the riders came closer. Lori forced herself to stand up straight and not flinch when they didn’t slow and raced around her in circles a few times, shouting and yelling loudly as the horses whinnied and reared. Finally the horses slowed and Lori got a better look at them. The four men had covered their faces with scarves and two carried strange metal sticks on their backs. The other two carried a sword and dagger each on their waists.

One of those men dismounted and moved the scarf from his face to reveal an elderly man. Lori startled at his grey beard and wrinkled face. He carried himself like a man in his prime. Not like the bowed and sickly old men that usually bore such grey and white hair. He began to speak to her and Lori blinked again when she recognized none of the sounds coming from his mouth.

“I apologise, but I do not understand you.”,Lori answered and the sword bearer remaining on the horse called something to his elder. The elder sighed and ordered something which prompted the rider to pull down his scarf and say:”We greet you in the name of the merciful Allah. His name is Talal El-Hashem, leader of his family. He says you are far from the city.”

Lori stared up at the translator. That was Kahlil. Where in the name of the Maker did he come from that this was his dream? She shook her head, taking a step towards him. She could ask questions later. For now they had to leave this place.

“Kahlil this is a dream. We have to leave.”,Lori said and the men startled at her use of his name. The elder, called Talal, turned to Kahlil and seemed to demand something which Kahlil answered with a confused shake of his head. Kahlil frowned sternly at Lori and declared:”I fear the sun must have addled your senses, Westerner. I do not know you.”

She groaned at his stubbornness. Typical that it wouldn’t be easy.

“Think Kahlil. We were at the Circle and fighting abominations and demons. A sloth demon caught us by surprise and we’re trapped in his part of the Fade.”,Lori tried to reason with him and Kahlil narrowed his eyes at her. The other men murmured amongst themselves, asking something of Kahlil as he silently considered her. His brown eyes flicked to the fade pedestal before he bowed his head, eyes closed.

“Take out the rider to your left.”,he murmured so quietly she nearly missed it and with a flash he drew his sword, lashing out at the rider on his left. Startled, Lori fumbled for her dagger before throwing it at the rider on her left and watching the dagger sink in the rider’s eye. The horses screamed as did the men and Lori barely had time to draw her sword when Talal was upon her with his own sword.

“He was ours!”,Talal roared in an unearthly voice and Lori kicked him back, snarling:”That is his choice to make! Not yours!”

Suddenly Talal fell to the side when Kahlil’s horse reared and struck the elder man. He fell into the sand with a scream and Kahlil dismounted, striding calmly towards Talal with an already bloodsoaked sword and clothes. Talal writhed in the sand, trying to get away and Lori watched as Kahlil sunk his blade into the snarling man’s chest. Kahlil murmured something in his strange language again and straightened with a stoney expression.

“I suppose you will want an explanation when we awaken.”,Kahlil stated woodenly, staring down at the man dead in the sand and Lori walked forward hesitantly. He had never looked so distant before. She knew Kahlil as a vibrant and cheerful man. Not this near Tranquil man. She let her hand rest on his shoulder and said:”At some point, yes. It can wait. Give this time to heal first.”

A small smile curled his lips upwards and he glanced at her.

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”,he murmured and began to dissipate. Lori stared at where her friend had been, startled. Huh. So he had disappeared. She shook her head and headed for the fade pedestal. Well, one down, three more to go.


	12. A Higher Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triple update!!!
> 
> AND I AM SO SORRY KAHLIL MY BOY

27th August, 9:30 Dragon

Kahlil’s hands shook as he clenched them into fists. He knelt on the cold stone floor, listening as Lori, Alistair, Leliana and the Senior Enchanter Wynne woke up and got to their feet. He stared in disgust at the raw flesh that seemed to grow out of the stonework and swallowed down the bile threatening to escape. The abomination that had housed Sloth lay dead beside Niall and the twisted shape didn’t help the sick feeling go away.

He had known this was coming when he joined Lori in the tower. Considered that this mission might make him see part of his family again. His heart clenched at the memory of his grandfather and Kahlil hunched, biting down on his knuckles with a quiet moan.

So much death. Thedas was full of dangers and everywhere they went it would follow him like his cloak. He remembered what was to come here and it was only going to get worse.

What was the point? Why was he even fighting for this world? His chances of survival were higher with the Hero, but they could still fail. This world might burn anyway if the second or third protagonist failed.

Why had he been brought here? What sort of joke was this to send him here? To the world that he and his sister had spent countless hours playing? The Hero didn’t need him here. She could defeat the archdemon without him. Why make him suffer the loss of his world? The loss of his family? His friends?

“Kahlil?”

He raised his eyes up to see Alistair crouched next to him with a concerned frown and Kahlil let his eyes roam the room for a heartbeat. Lori and Leliana were searching Niall’s pockets and Wynne stood nearby with a weary expression. Kahlil grabbed his sword and shield from the ground and ignoring Alistair’s worry, rasped:”To the next floor?”

Lori led the way up to the next level and Kahlil fought beside them listlessly, taking more scrapes than usual. After another fight with possessed Templars, his arms sagged down beside him and he stared down at the corpse of what had once been a human being. This was not right. None of this was. Not just how the Mages were kept prisoners in the Circle, but how this world felt like a cage to him. He wanted to go home. Make sure he had not just really killed his grandfather. Hold his sister. Bury his hands in the desert sand.

Suddenly he staggered to the side when a shield whacked his side and Kahlil looked up in surprise to see Alistair frowning at him. Alistair leaned closer and whispered:”Snap out of it Kahlil! We need you aware!”

Kahlil drooped again with a small shake of his head.

“What is the point? You don’t really need me.”,Kahlil murmured and Alistair grimaced, hissing:”Of course we need you!”

Alistair glanced at where Lori and Leliana were looting the room as if to make sure they weren’t listening.

“I don’t know what happened in your dream, but… we do need your help.”,Alistair said in a hushed voice,”You’ve been an anchor to us with your quiet reason. All of us lose our tempers every once in a while, but you are steadfast. Sure we may still be able to go on without you. However you do make a difference.”

Kahlil stared in shock as Alistair took a step back, blushing in embarrassment. That was how Alistair saw him? Lori called for them and Kahlil followed Alistair woodenly. Was he that necessary?

It had him such a daze that he followed the others automatically, going through the motions until they reached the last room before the final level. Kahlil listened distantly as Lori tried to calm Cullen in his magic prison and remembered how Sahar had played the Mage origin the first time she had played Dragon Age. She had found Cullen’s fascination with her character creepy and ranted how hypocritical he was about the Mage-Templar issue.

The thought of Sahar made him frown. She had told him about stories of modern girls being sent to Thedas. How thrilled she would be if it happened to her. He remembered listening to her one evening as she described her favorite fan fiction in that setting.

“Would you really be happy in Thedas, Sahar?”,he’d asked her as she flipped through one of his books on his bed,”Even knowing you would leave us all behind here?”

She hadn’t looked up from the book to see him grinning at her. Sahar had fiddled with the end of her braid as she lazily flipped through his book and declared:”If I got sent to Thedas it would because He sent me and I would have a purpose there. I would grieve for my life here, but then I would have to move on. I wouldn’t want all of you to feel bad about my departure, rather I would want you to feel happy that I was called to a greater purpose.”

Kahlil blinked, returning to the present in Thedas and glanced at Lori as she tried to get through to Cullen. Maybe… Sahar was right… There had to be a reason he was here. Kahlil breathed in deeply, straightening out of his slump. He had to snap out of it and help Lori now deal with this boy in front of them.

“They deserve to die! Uldred most of all.”,Cullen snarled, face twisted in a furious expression,”They caged us like animals… Looked for ways to break us… I am the only one left… They turned some into monsters… And… there was nothing I could do…”

At the end his voice broke and a shuddering sob passed through the blond boy’s frame, his armor rattling. Kahlil sneered at his words and loudly exclaimed:”That sounds very similar to what Templars do to Mages during the Harrowing! Not such a fair test after all, is it?”

Everyone turned to stare at him in surprise and Kahlil jutted his chin out defiantly. He could tell that most of them were surprised and puzzled, but Cullen slammed his fists against the barrier, eyes narrowed and lips curled into a snarl.

“What do you know of the Templars and the Harrowing?”,Cullen demanded and Kahlil hesitated. There was no easy way to explain how he knew. So he went with a half-truth. Kahlil leaned forward and growled:”My sister went through the Harrowing and hated Circle life with every fibre of her being.”

His sister had been a mage in the game a few times. Had undergone the Harrowing in the game. Had hated the Templars and the Circle. All true.

Cullen spat and snarled something, but Kahlil was no longer listening and stepped towards the stairs to the next level with a wave of his hand. He knew what he had to do now. It was time to move on.

“I say we go save the Mages and gain their support now.”


	13. Hush

1st Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

The embers glowed softly in the dark and Lori used a stick to poke at the dying embers. It wasn’t cold that cold to her yet as a native born Ferelden, but several of her companions had complained about the drop in temperature at night. Havard certainly appreciated it, judging by the way he slept close to the embers with a satisfied snore.

Lori smiled at her mabari. He had been a gift to her from her father two years ago when she had turned eighteen. He came home from a visit in Denerim just in time for her name’s day and he had brought the wriggling mabari pup with him.

Cailan had allowed her father to buy one of his mabari pups and her father had been proud to present the pup to her. He’d said since she was his pup, she needed a pup of her own. She’d been ecstatic that day.

She could remember how Havard had played with Oren when she’d been busy with her studies or other duties. Oren and Havard had adored each other and Fergus had to promise to get Oren a mabari of his own when he was old enough. Oren had drawn one picture after another of himself with Havard and his own pup. Fighting dragons and other evils.

The wind rustled through the leaves of the forest and Lori let her eyes wander their campsite. She was supposed to fetch the next nightwatch soon, but she didn’t feel like it yet. Lori raised her eyes to stare up at the clear night sky and smiled when she found Servani. Her constellation. The one she had been born under.

Mother had always said she would serve a greater purpose because of it. She remembered being afraid of being enslaved as a child because Servani was also known as the Chained Man, but her mother… She had said Servani was anchored to a purpose. That Servani had a great duty and its promises and vows were what chained it.

Her smile faltered at that. Lori was chained to her duty as a Grey Warden now. There was no way to escape it. The taint would always chain her to the Wardens. Even after the Blight.

Havard sighed loudly in his sleep and Lori grinned down at him. She rubbed her hand over his head and looked up at the stars again. Smiling up at Servani, Lori whispered:”Happy name’s day to me.”


	14. At the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind if messed up. I wanted to write a chapter about Zevran joining, but then I posted the last chapter and the order is a bit messed up. Haven't finished that other chapter yet so you can have this for now until I can go back and fix this. :,D

2nd Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

The warmth of the fire radiated across Kahlil’s front as he sewed another stitch into the blue fabric in his lap. He hummed softly to himself, listening to his companions moving about camp or talking to each other. Most conversations were being held in whispers and their movement was somewhat stilted.

For the single reason that the others were still suspicious of Zevran. The assassin had made an attempt on their lives on their way to the Dalish after dealing with the possessed boy in Redcliffe. They had successfully beaten down the attempt and Lori had decided to trust Zevran.

Now everyone eyed him warily, as if he would suddenly go on a killing spree or slit all of their throats in the dark. Probably why Lori hadn’t given him nightwatch yet. No one would trust him.

Well, Lori and Kahlil did.

“That is lovely stitchwork, Kahlil.”,Leliana interrupted his thoughts as she tended to the broth bubbling over the fire,”I was not aware that guards in Highever were taught needlework.”

Kahlil laughed, shaking his head.

“They do not. My grandmother taught me.”,he answered with a grin in her direction and he flinched when a hand landed on his shoulder. Kahlil looked up from his work to see Zevran sit down beside him with a smirk and the elf declared:”Such lovely work from a warrior’s hands! Your grandmother must have been quite skilled to teach you such delicate work.”

He smiled at the praise and Kahlil ran a thumb over the emerging pattern fondly. It wasn’t a pattern his grandmother had taught him, but the style was hers. He felt closer to her just by touching it.

“Stubborn more like. I was not a willing student at first.”,Kahlil admitted and Zevran cocked a brow curiously. He leaned closer with a flirtatious smile and purred:”Oh? Do tell, Ser Kahlil.”

Kahlil glanced at Zevran in amusement. The other man flirted with anything with a pulse which had earned him several glares. He had noticed though that Zevran seemed to enjoy getting Kahlil to talk. Perhaps the accent that Lori had mentioned before? Or maybe because Kahlil did not react hostilely to flirtations.

“In my homeland there are several traditions that are dying out. The world keeps moving and people change and adapt. That means forgetting old traditions in some cases.”,Kahlil began to explain, picking up his sewing again,”One day when I was a child my grandmother caught me dressing up in some of our traditional clothes. I panicked and tore one. So she made me learn to make a new one.”

Zevran hummed in acknowledgment and Kahlil grinned. He could remember the scolding he’d gotten that day and the torture of learning what he had then considered women’s work. His grandmother had quickly corrected that idea.

“My grandfather supported the whole idea. He said if I wanted to dress up I should learn to be the real thing. That summer he started to teach me how to ride and fight.”,Kahlil continued with a snort of amusement and he heard Leliana chuckle from the fire. The chuckle devolved into giggles when Zevran crooned:”Such wise grandparents. They certainly did a spectacular job. Your needlework and swordplay are exquisite.”

Kahlil paused his work to lean towards Zevran with a smirk.

“I am delighted I can please you with my work. I live to serve.”

There was a groan in disgust behind them and Kahlil glanced back to see Morrigan turn away and stomp back towards her fire. He snickered at her retreating form and only stopped when he caught sight of Lori and Alistair talking at the edge of camp. Alistair was flushed and Lori was cradling a rose in her hands. A lovely blush dusted her cheeks and both were gazing into the other’s eyes with dopey grins.

The rose conversation. It was about time.

“I thought you were from Highever like Lori?”,Wynne asked suddenly and Kahlil stilled. He turned back to the fire to see the elderly mage now standing beside Leliana with a steaming bowl and a curious expression. In fact Leliana and Zevran both watched him curiously now. She was sharp that one. He had to be more careful.

“I was recruited in Highever like Lori.”

“But you are not from there?”,Leliana inquired with a small tilt of her head and Kahlil began to sew again, saying:”No.”

“Where are you from then, my delightful friend? Your accent is sinful.”,Zevran purred, leaning closer and letting a hand trail across Kahlil’s arm. Kahlil shivered under his touch and for a brief moment considered telling them where he hailed from. He couldn’t though. Not until he had a chance to talk with Lori first. No matter how tempting Zevran made it. Instead he took Zevran’s hand and pressed a light kiss against his fingertips, murmuring:”That will be my little secret. You will have to try harder.”

“Oh I enjoy a challenge.”

“That I believe.”


	15. Greetings from Antiva

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was supposed to be before the chapters 13 and 14, but I fucked up. There will also be a follow up to this chapter coming soon (I hope) where I write more about Zevran's recruitment.

30th August, 9:30 Dragon

Kahlil looked up from his conversation with Leliana about Orlesian court when he heard shouting from ahead. A young woman was pleading with Lori and Kahlil’s brows rose when he recognised her. So Zevran was about to attack… He could tell from Lori’s posture that she was trying to calm down the hysterical woman. What an act…

“What do you suppose that is about?”,Bodahn asked from his cart and the dwarf pulled his cart to a stop next to Leliana and Kahlil. Leliana began to walk forward curiously and Kahlil smiled up at Bodahn, saying:”I do not know, bit from the way the woman is crying I would guess bandits.”

“Kahlil! Morrigan! With me!”,Lori called from ahead and Kahlil trotted forward while Morrigan followed with a great suffering sigh. The woman was weeping while Leliana patted her back and Alistair was arguing quietly with Lori until Kahlil drew close. Kahlil stopped beside Lori and once Morrigan had joined she explained:”Bandits have attacked the caravan ahead. You two, Leliana and I will deal with them while the rest guard our rear.”

“I still think I should come too.”,Alistair muttered with a pout and Lori rolled her eyes, sighing:”I know Alistair, but I can't take everyone.”

Before he could argue anymore, Lori motioned for the woman to go ahead. She sprinted ahead with Havard and Kahlil readied his sword and shield before following. The others had done the same and only slowed when they came around the road bend and saw the woman cockily approaching a blond elf.

“What in the name of the Maker is going on?”,Lori demanded, lowering her sword and dagger slightly and an annoyed frown on her face. Kahlil wanted to sigh when more men and women appeared at his signal and the four of them barely managed to dodge the falling tree.

“The Wardens die here!”,he heard Zevran yell and Kahlil picked himself up in time to raise his shield and block two crossbow bolts. He charged forward to slam into a warrior running at Morrigan and Leliana while Lori dashed forward with Havard at her her heels. Kahlil cut the man down and waited as two more assassins ran forward. Only for them to scream when a giant spider scittered past Kahlil and fell over them.

“Charming.”,Kahlil snorted with a grin and leapt forward to help Morrigan. The two assassins dealt with, Morrigan transformed back into her human form and Kahlil shielded her while she began to cast a complicated spell. Kahlil snapped his head around when he heard Leliana cry out in pain and saw Zevran drawing his daggers back to attack a staggering Leliana again.

“Kahlil! Help Leliana!”,Lori ordered from the front and Kahlil glanced at Morrigan. The mage raised her hands, finishing her spell and she chuckled darkly as the three archers above froze, paralyzed. The ones Lori and Havard were charging at. She would be fine on her own.

Kahlil ran back to Leliana who was dodging as many of Zevran’s attacks as possible, but his daggers had to be laced with some poison because Leliana was becoming more sluggish with every heartbeat. Leliana stumbled back and fell with a cry and Zevran lunged forward to strike her down. Kahlil leapt and Zevran’s daggers screeched in a horrible sound off of his shield. With a grunt of effort, Kahlil shoved the elf back and Zevran smirked at him, twirling his daggers. Kahlil crouched protectively in front of Leliana and watched as Zevran’s eyes flicked over his form, assessing him.

“Ah you would be one of the Wardens, yes? Come to die then?”,Zevran taunted, edging forward and Kahlil snorted, shaking his head. This was ridiculous. Here he was standing in front of the character that had made him realise he wasn’t straight. Except he no longer was a character. Kahlil surged forward and Zevran leapt aside, lashing out with his daggers. Only to be hit squarely with an arrow in the shoulder, causing him to stagger. Kahlil glanced back to see Leliana on one knee and reaching back for a second arrow, hissing:”Casse-toi!”

Kahlil used the opportunity she had created for him and slammed his shield into a startled Zevran’s head. This prompted the handsome elf’s eyes to roll back and collapse into a heap on the ground. Kahlil kicked his daggers away and glanced up at where Lori was taking care of the last assassin with Morrigan. Leliana approached Kahlil, nursing a health potion and mumbled:”You are keeping him alive for questioning?”

He hummed in a non-committal way. He did not want to confirm anything to Leliana yet. Kahlil certainly wanted Zevran to live. The man was too interesting and deserved to finally have some happiness. Kahlil sheathed his sword and Kahlil knelt down to search Zevran for anymore weapons. It wouldn’t do for them to question Zevran and he simply drew another weapon. That would force the others to kill him which Kahlil wanted to avoid. Leliana watched next to him and when Kahlil was about to stand, she pointed at Zevran, saying:”You missed three. Left wrist brace, right boot and on his back.”

Leliana grinned at him when Kahlil gave her a deadpan stare.

“Now, now don’t shoot the messenger Kahlil.”,she teased and Kahlil rolled his eyes with a chuckle before removing the hidden daggers he’d missed. He handed them up to Leliana and she wrinkled her nose at the blades in disgust. Lori and Morrigan joined them and Lori sheathed her weapons, asking:”That the leader? Think we can get some answers out of him?”

At that moment they heard some shouts and they looked up in time to see Alistair trying to climb over the tree with his sword and shield drawn. Morrigan sniggered when he fell over the side and Havard bound up to him, barking happily. Alistair pushed himself to his feet and with an embarrassed flush, he called:”What happened!? We saw the tree fall and heard shouting!”

Lori smiled and waved him over.

“Thank you for checking on us Alistair. The tree was part of a trap and we’re about to question the leader of the assassins.”,Lori explained as Alistair approached sheepishly and Kahlil grinned at the smile that spread over his face at her praise. Then he blanched and exclaimed:”Assassins!?”

He looked down at the unconscious elf on the ground and how Kahlil was kneeling casually next to him.

“You aren’t going to leave him unbound like that are you?”,Alistair demanded and Kahlil cocked a brow at him, asking:”You think a disarmed, injured man poses a threat to all of us? I do not think he is that stupid.”

Alistair glanced down and shuffled his feet.

“Well, he did attack you…”,he mumbled and Kahlil snorted in amusement while Leliana and Lori laughed. That was true. Attacking them was a very stupid idea. He glanced down at Zevran with a pang of pity. No, Zevran was not stupid. He was insanely intelligent to come up with a plan that didn’t look foolish to his peers, but weak enough that he wouldn’t win.

“Wake him up.”,Lori ordered with a nod and Kahlil swallowed back the worry he felt for Zevran’s future. Here was to hoping that Lori trusted him enough to keep Zevran alive. And that he didn’t lose her trust at the same time.


	16. Crow Observations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for being away for so long here is the part two I promised of Zevran's recruitment. This take place almost directly before Chapter 13.
> 
> Also I tried making Kahlil, Lori, Zevran and Alistair in a character creator so now you can all have an idea on how they look like. :D  
> https://ermakeys.tumblr.com/post/179187320697/introducing-zevran-kahlil-lori-and-alistair-of

1st Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

The Grey Wardens and their merry band intrigued Zevran.

Despite his attack on them, they had spared his life and mostly accepted him into their group. He was certain that most of them would be sleeping with a dagger at the ready for the next nights. At least until Zevran had proven himself to be trustworthy. The thought made his lips curl in bitter amusement. As if he should ever be trusted again. One only needed to point out the number of people that had trusted him and wound up dead. No one should ever trust an assassin, but especially not one who killed-.

Zevran raised his eyes to watch his new companions set up their camp. They had settled into their routine and moved about camp, talking quietly to each other. Some with more ease than others.

The qunari had been silent except for the disapproving grunt when Lori had announced Zevran’s recruitment and that trend had continued. The Circle Mage and Bard were chatting amicably at the fire as they set up dinner and were content to share stories that they had heard or experienced with the Grey Warden Lori. The Kocari witch, Morrigan, was making one snide remark about the Grey Warden Alistair after another and each one made the man raise his hackles and send her a glare. Zevran was curious to observe Lori rest a hand on his shoulder, his arm, his hand or whatever was closely available to her and the man softened visibly with an enamoured smile directed her way. He made a silent note about that budding relationship. Both seemed taken with the other.

All of them though kept throwing Zevran wary glances from time to time. Zevran made a point of acting as if he didn’t notice. He wanted to earn their trust after all. Make them lower their guard and include him in their band. That would certainly increase his chances of survival and escaping the Crows.

His eyes slid over the group and towards where the last Grey Warden was kneeling at the edge of camp. The man was facing east and appeared to be praying, but in a way that Zevran had not encountered before. Much about the man was a mystery to Zevran. Average height, long black hair that was tied back in a bun, a well kept beard and brown eyes. Nothin about his outward appearance caused any alarm bells to ring in Zevran’s head, but the way he behaved…

Kahlil smiled easily at those around him and radiated calm with slow and calculated moves. His careful movements belied his physical strength and Zevran had to admit he had been startled to see the man hold his own in a sparring match with Sten and withstand the pounding the qunari was dishing out. His voice carried an accent that Zevran could not place. Antiva City was a melting pot of different languages and yet he had never heard an accent like that. Or language. He was close enough to hear Kahlil murmur in his strange language that seemed to flow easily from his lips. Very attractive lips…

Zevran tilted his head slightly as he focused on Kahlil. Something that certainly unnerved him though was the way Kahlil looked at everyone. As if he was holding himself back and listened patiently to each one of them anyway.

However the greatest factor that intrigued Zevran about Kahlil was the fact that the man had from the start argued to let Zevran live. When he had attack the Wardens, Zevran had seen how Kahlil moved to protect the mage and archer and had specifically gone after Leliana to provoke his guardian instincts. Zevran had been correct that Kahlil’s guardian instincts had been triggered, but when Kahlil raised his shield to fight off Zevran all he had seen was pity in his eyes. It had surprised Zevran enough that he had not been able to draw back in time and landed him on the ground.

What gain had the man seen in sparing and recruiting him? Zevran certainly had not been showing his best moves while fighting them. It was another piece to add to the puzzle of Kahlil. The others had not seemed inclined to agree with Kahlil. Zevran had wondered if the man had wanted a servant to boss around or even an elven bedwarmer, but when Kahlil remained polite and friendly in their later exchanges Zevran began to doubt that assumption.

Zevran lowered his gaze when he noticed Kahlil reaching the end of his prayer and busied himself with sharpening his daggers. He listened as Kahlil rejoined his companions and chatted easily with them. Zevran’s ears twitched though when he heard the man approaching him. He looked up in time to see Kahlil standing in front of him with a bowl of whatever stew Wynne and Leliana had made and an almost shy smile. The Warden extended the steaming bowl and spoon, saying:”Wynne said you had not come for your dinner yet.”

“She is correct. I was… observing the fascinating people on display.”,Zevran answered with a suggestive wink and purred to himself when he saw Kahlil’s smile widen somewhat. He accepted the bowl and made sure to ‘accidentally’ brush his fingers against Kahlil’s and was delighted to see the man rub his fingers together almost subconsciously. Good to see his charms might work on this one.

“Then I will leave you to your observing.”,Kahlil declared and took a step back. Only to pause and add:”On one condition though. Please take note of my behind. My sister insists it is my most flattering side.”

That said, Kahlil turned and walked back to the campfire. Zevran chuckled at the suggestion and with a grin contemplated the Grey Warden’s ass. Oh yes, very fine indeed. His sister had very good taste. Now to see if Zevran could trust the man owning it.


	17. Soft Spots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but sweet. :)

4th Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

“Kahlil!”

Slowly Kahlil cracked open his eyes and stared sleepily at Lori. She was halfway in his tent with the campfire flickering behind her and Kahlil threw an arm over his eyes, muttering:”I am not taking your watch. Forget it.”

He heard her spluttering before she smacked his leg.

“That’s not what I’m here about!”,she hissed and with a sigh Kahlil removed his arm. He waved at her to come in all the way and Lori shuffled into the tent. She knelt next to him and he pushed his blanket aside carefully to sit up and face her tiredly. Her hands were fidgeting and her brows knotted in worry.

“What’s wrong Lori?”,Kahlil asked quietly and Lori twitched before whispering:”Wynne… Wynne said that I might hurt Alistair… She… she said there was great potential for tragedy…”

Suddenly her eyes filled with tears.

“I-I told her that Alistair and I could make it through anything together, but… but what if she’s right Kahlil? What if I end up hurting Alistair? This is a Blight and one or both of us could die…”,she choked out and Kahlil leaned forward with a shake of his head. Damn it Wynne. Couldn’t she have left well enough alone? Lori was doing so well after all she’d been through.

“Now listen here.”,Kahlil whispered sternly,”You deserve to cling to any shred of happiness you can find. So does Alistair and I know that you make him happy. Your smile alone turns him into a gooey mess.”

A wet laugh escaped Lori and she shot him a watery smile. Kahlil hesitated a moment before carefully cupping her face and brushing her tears away with his thumbs.

“You are one of the best warriors I have ever seen, Lori and Alistair is strong too. If anyone can survive this Blight it will be the two of you.”,Kahlil said and Lori sniffed, nodding with a smile. He released her and pointed to the tent flap, ordering:”Now go cuddle with him. I need my rest before you march us across all of Ferelden.”

Lori rolled her eyes and began to crawl out of the tent a light blush dusting her cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah got to get your beauty sleep in so you don’t frighten little children.”

Kahlil snorted in amusement and fell back onto his bedroll with a grin after Lori had closed his tent flap. That was when Zevran decided to emerge from under the blanket where he had been hiding and grinned down at Kahlil.

“Soft spot for our lovely leader?”,he purred with a suggestive wiggle of his brows and Kahlil chuckled, shaking his head. He curled into Zevran with a satisfied sigh and wrapping his arms around the clothed elf, quietly declared:”Too much like a little sister. Besides I have a weakness for Antivan Crows already. Don’t need one for Grey Wardens as well.”


	18. Nightingale Observations

5th Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

The road was blissfully quiet. Of course some of their companions were talking amongst themselves, but Kahlil enjoyed the fact that nothing had jumped out to attack them for several hours. It allowed him to watch Zevran flirt with a flustered Lori ahead of him and how Alistair’s mood soured the longer Zevran spoke with her. The two of them were so obvious with their affection for each other. Thankfully they had made some progress recently.

“So Kahlil, I noticed you didn’t spend the night alone.”

Kahlil slowly turned his head to spy Leliana smirking up at him. He felt a familiar rush of panic and fear course through him before he could clamp down on it. This wasn’t home. This was Thedas and if he remembered Leliana from Dragon Age right, she would be the last one to judge him.

“Perhaps. How do you come to this observation?”,Kahlil answered, forcing himself to smile at her. Leliana’s grin faltered for a moment, but she continued to grin and exclaimed:”You and a certain elf stayed out late, talking by the campfire and later when it was my watch I noticed him slip into your tent.”

Kahlil felt his cheeks burn and was grateful his beard would cover most of it. Still she saw him fidget and grimace before he mumbled:”It has been growing cold. Zevran is used to warm Antivan nights. I… We… Nothing… nothing happened.”

He trained his eyes forward and caught Zevran glancing back at him. Kahlil felt his lips curl into a genuine smile when Zevran winked and returned to his conversation with Lori. Beside him he heard Leliana make an understanding sound in her throat.

“You… do not want to advertise your preference?”,she asked softly and Kahlil winced. His preference. That phrasing alone brought up screaming arguments, tears and pain. Kahlil moved to rub his hand over his face and paused when he saw his hand trembling slightly. He dropped his hand again and muttered:”My father wasn’t too pleased with my preference. Teasing and joking was fine to him, but actually having or acting on my feelings...”

It had resulted in him leaving home with his sister. Neither one of them could stand to be under the same roof again. Kahlil blinked when Leliana took his hand and squeezed with a sad smile.

“I understand, Kahlil. However I do not think you need to be afraid in present company.”

Kahlil smiled back and felt relieved when Leliana began to chatter away about some inane topic where he didn’t need to give much input. The warmth of her hand in his was a comfort and he felt the tension that had built up in him drain away. His father couldn’t reach him here. He was safe.

A shout from up ahead interrupted his thoughts and he looked up in time to see bandits charging at them. He sighed as he drew his sword and shield. Well, he was semi-safe at least.


	19. Origin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weekened better come soon

6th Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

Lori eyed the map in her lap thoughtfully as she listened with half an ear as Alistair and Kahlil chatted. Alistair was teasing Kahlil about how easily Sten had taken Kahlil down and the older man was taking it in good humor, countering that he was at least willing to test and expand his limits. Once she’d gathered her thoughts, she set the map down on the ground between them where they sat away from the others, inquiring:”Shall we begin then, gentlemen?”

Instantly she had their attention as they focused on her map of Ferelden. Lori pointed at the markers for the Imperial Highway leading to Denerim and where it ran close to the Brecilian Forest.

“We know the Dalish are in the Brecilian Forest. Tomorrow we’ll reach the point in the road where we should leave the Imperial Highway.”,Lori explained to the two men and they nodded in unison, concentrating on the map. Lori took a deep breath, nervous about what she was going to suggest. They were no going to like it.

“I think we should split the group up. Half of us goes to the Dalish and the other half goes to Denerim.”

Both pairs of eyes shot up from the map in surprise and Lori quailed at the sight.

“What!?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Listen to me.”,Lori sighed, rubbing her forehead,”It makes sense. We’re a large enough group that we could make it work. We’d save some time and get that much closer to a cure for Eamon.”

The two of them crossed their arms and frowned, making Lori chuckle weakly. United against her plan. Fabolous. At least she was able to get them to work together. Kahlil rubbed a hand over his face, scratching at his beard and asked:”How would you suggest splitting the group?”

Lori leapt at the opportunity and began to count off their members on two hands.

“I would take Havard, Wynne, Zevran and Alistair to the Dalish. You, Kahlil, would take Sten, Leliana and Morrigan to Denerim and find Brother Genitivi. Then you go ahead to Soldier’s Peak and help Levi Dryden.”,Lori suggested quickly so neither could interrupt her,”The fewer Wardens near Denerim and Loghain the better and both Alistair and I are known to some people in Denerim. You aren’t as far as I know, Kahlil.”

Alistair seemed to relax when she said he would be accompanying her while Kahlil scowled darkly. He muttered under his breath and glared at the map as if he could find a solution to his problem there and Lori waited with bated breath. Finally Kahlil sighed, shoulders slumping and he declared:”The plan is sound. I may not like leaving you two lovebirds out of my sight, but I should let you test your wings.”

Her embarrassment on being called a lovebird nearly overwhelmed the pride she felt for his praise and acceptance of her plan. Alistair’s spluttering even drew a smile out of her and she began to roll up the map, cheerfully declaring:”Thank you. Now we-.”

“Wait.”

Lori and Alistair looked at Kahlil’s serious expression and raised hand in surprise. He lowered his hand once he had their attention and crossed his arms again. Lori blinked when she saw him fidget. He was nervous?

“I should tell you something. About myself.”,Kahlil stated, keeping his eyes lowered and Lori blinked in surprise. Did this have to do with that dream she saw at the mage tower? He took a deep breath and closed his his eyes.

“I was born in a kingdom called Jordan in a world called Earth.”,Kahlil said, keeping his eyes closed,”In this world we had… stories and histories of other places. Places that we thought were not real. One of those stories was a story about Thedas during the Fifth Blight.”

Lori stared at Kahlil blankly. What? That made no sense.

“I read this story and the different possible outcomes. My little sister did too. We talked about them often, arguing why things should be done one way or another.”,Kahlil continued, ignoring Alistair’s and Lori’s shocked expressions,”I know all about the Fifth Blight and the decisions approaching us and their outcomes.”

That had Alistair grab Kahlil’s arm with a pale face. Kahlil opened his eyes as Alistair swallowed thickly and in a whisper demanded:”You… you knew Ostagar…?”

“Would end that way? Yes, but there was no way for me to change that outcome safely.”,Kahlil explained gently and Alistair let go of him as if he were holding a snake, anger and disgust battling on his face. Lori thought back quickly on the last few weeks and how Kahlil always was at her side. Making suggestions about their next course of action, helping her through her sorrow…

“Highever?”,she choked out, unable to get voice her entire question. Kahlil looked almost relieved and said:”I arrived in Thedas that night. I woke in a pool of my own blood without a memory of how I got here. I got out of Highever as fast as I could and ran into you and Duncan.”

Lori nodded tensely while Alistair lurched to his feet, fists clenched at his sides. He spun on his heel and stomped back to the campfire where the others were dishing out the evening meal and Lori watched him silently, mind reeling.

“The city in your dream…?”,Lori whispered and Kahlil bowed his head with a fond smile, murmuring:”The city of Aqaba. Only coastal town of the kingdom of Jordan.”

She nodded and looked down. To her surprise she had clenched her hands around the map and she forced her hands to relax. Lori pushed herself to her feet and kept her gaze lowered.

“You understand that Alistair and I will need time to digest this information.”,she murmured and saw him nod his head out of the corner of her eye. With a nod of her own, she walked towards the campfire. Maker, what was Your plan by dropping Kahlil into her lap? She didn’t know what to think.

\-----------------------

6th Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

Kahlil watched sadly as Lori followed Alistair to the fire. He hadn’t expected it to go over well, but… He had hoped. Prayed. Ah well, at least they hadn’t yelled at him or thrown him out. That had been one possible scenario he had envisioned.

His eyes roamed the group and he rubbed his chin with a sigh. Lori was curled up next to Alistair, listening to Leliana sing and Kahlil wished he could go join them. Probably not the best idea when Alistair wanted to punch him at the moment. He’d had the power to save Duncan and done nothing. Kahlil bowed his head with a shake of his head and softly called:”Zevran?”

For a few seconds nothing happened. Then Zevran stepped out of the shadows and crouched next to Kahlil with a smirk. Kahlil smiled at him sadly and Zevran asked:”How did you know I was here?”

Kahlil shrugged with a chuckle.

“It was a guess. I didn’t see you over there with the others.”

Zevran laughed with a shake of his head and Kahlil felt some of the tension bleed away at the sound. This man was a balm for his soul. He reached out with one hand and took one of Zevran’s to kiss the back of it.

“How much did you hear?”,Kahlil asked, releasing Zevran again. Zevran smirked at Kahlil and declared:”All of it. My ears are far better than yours at hearing.”

Kahlil nodded and turned to look at Lori and Alistair again. Alistair was leaning into Lori now and Kahlil smiled at the sight. They were good for each other.

“Watch out for them while I go to Denerim.”,Kahlil ordered quietly and Zevran hummed in silent agreement. Kahlil pushed himself up with a grunt and sighed:”I may as well take first watch. Neither of those two will want to see me right now.”

“Shall I keep you company?”,Zevran asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively and Kahlil chuckled as Zevran straightened too. He took a step closer to Zevran and tilting his head curiously, inquired:”It doesn’t bother you that I come from another world? That I know more about what’s going on or the people involved than almost anyone else?”

Zevran smiled up at Kahlil with half-lidded eyes.

“My dear Warden, where you came from does not matter to me. You are here now, trying to save our world and that is good enough to me.”

Kahlil swallowed thickly and leaned down slowly with the intention of kissing the assassin in front of him. However Zevran placed a finger on his lips with a playful smirk.

“It helps that you have a fantastic ass.”

Most of camp turned to stare when Kahlil began to laugh loudly.


	20. Mending

7th Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

Kahlil was fingering the hilt of his blade again. Lori watched him walking beside Zevran from the back of their procession. Their group was being led at the front by Alistair and Sten and she had volunteered to watch their rear. She watched Kahlil now, trying to figure out how she felt.

Lori still couldn’t quite wrap her mind around his words. He was from a place where her entire world was a story. Everything happening here was a tale in someone’s book there and that rubbed her the wrong way. Her suffering, her achievements… It didn’t feel right for it to just be a story for someone to tell and read. She was real. The things she had accomplished were real.

Then there was the fact he hadn’t spoken until now. Until she had unknowingly forced the issue by seeing his dream and separating the group. Why hadn’t he spoken sooner? She had trusted him, would have told him nearly anything if he had asked, but now…

Lori took a deep breath.

Did she trust him any less? No, but she was hurt. It hurt that he didn’t think she would have taken him seriously. She could understand to a certain degree why he hadn’t told her right from the start. It sounded crazy and if he had told her and Duncan, they would have left him behind.

And he had helped them on their journey. He had been the one to point out going to the Circle for help with Connor was an option. He had insisted that the Circle wasn’t beyond saving. He had said they should look for Genitivi to save Eamon.

Lori’s eyes flicked back to Kahlil’s hand when he let his hand run over the hilt of his sword again. What had him so nervous? Was it something he knew about their path? Before her worry could gnaw at her enough for her to ask him, Alistair waved from the front, calling:”Reached the fork in the path!”

She jogged ahead then with Havard at her heels and took in the fork. The road continued towards Denerim while a rough trail branched off towards the Brecilian Forest. Nodding, Lori turned towards the others and ordered:”Grab our supplies off of Bodhan’s cart. We’re going in.”

Wynne, Alistair and Zevran hurried to grab their loaded packs and Bodahn and Sandal handed them their equipment. Lori slung her own pack onto her back and jumped when a gloved hand entered her field of vision holding a sword in its sheath. Looking up, she saw Kahlil holding out his sword to her with a guarded expression and he held up the sword to her, murmuring:”You should take this blade. The Green Blade has enchantments against beasts.”

Lori accepted the sword hesitantly and unbuckled Oathkeeper from her belt. She strapped the Green Blade to her hip and handed Kahlil Oathkeeper. They stood there for a moment, staring at each other until Lori swallowed, asking:”What can you tell us?”

Kahlil’s shoulders slumped, releasing a tension that Lori hadn’t noticed before. The relief flooding his expression had her blinking in surprise. Had he been this tense about their whole talk? So worried?

“The Dalish have problems of their own that they will need help with.”,Kahlil murmured, leaning a little closer,”Remember that it can be solved peacefully. Show and say that you want to resolve it peacefully and it can be. Also Witherfang is the Lady of the Forest. They are one and the same. Oh and get Zevran a pair of Dalish gloves.”

Lori nodded, filing the information away and after hesitating a moment, placed a hand on his arm. She smiled tiredly at his startled expression. Her hand squeezed his arm before she released him and she said:”Let’s talk when we meet at Soldier’s Peak. Clear the air.”

She was rewarded with his lips curling into a small smile and his nodded agreement. Lori turned away from Kahlil and walked towards the fork in the path where her group was already waiting. She gave Leliana a quick hug, offered one to Sten and Morrigan who turned her down with blank stares and sneers. Smiled and waved at Sandal and Bodahn before calling:”We’ll meet you at Soldier’s Peak then! Good luck and safe travels!”

“Same to you!”,Kahlil exclaimed with a tentative smile and Lori smiled in return. Suddenly Zevran jogged past her and towards Kahlil. Before anyone could react, he had pulled a startled Kahlil down and kissed him soundly. Lori felt her cheeks flame at the sight and squawked when Kahlil hugged Zevran closer and seemed to deepen the kiss.

“Sweet Maker! Can we go now!?”,Alistair begged, a similar shade of red and Lori spun on her heel, shouting:”Off we go! Keep up Zevran!”

A few heartbeats later when she had marched off into the forest, she heard some laughter behind her and Zevran’s hurried footsteps, catching up with her. Her cheeks burned even hotter when Kahlil yelled:”Stay safe and keep each other’s backs! That is not an invitation to stare at each other’s rears!”


	21. Nervous Energy

10th Kingsway, 9:30 Dragon

The fire crackled and Kahlil flinched at the sound. He clenched his hands together and bowed his head with a heavy sigh. Around him at the fire were Morrigan, Sten and Leliana. Traveling with them had been… interesting to put it mildly. Sten could only rarely be tempted into conversation, Morrigan was caustic at most times and Leliana tried to draw everyone into conversation which annoyed their other two companions. That was the advantage of traveling in a larger group. More possibilities to avoid certain people.

Though that wasn’t the only reason he had called them together this evening.

“So will you finally reveal your reason for summoning us, Warden?”,Morrigan drawled, her brow raising a tick as she smiled sweetly at Kahlil. The only sign that she did not want to be here, sitting at the fire with them. Kahlil was amazed that she had even come when he called them together.

“I have something to tell you that I have already told my fellow Wardens.”,Kahlil began after taking a deep breath and Morrigan interrupted:”Oh is this why your parting was so strained? Well, what dark secret do you have for us?”

Kahlil rubbed a hand over his face with a sigh.

“Yes, Alistair and Lori were not pleased with me. I believe it is better to share my secret with you before we reach Denerim though. It would benefit us in the long run.”

“Kahlil.”

He raised his gaze to meet Leliana’s soft one.

“You’re stalling.”

“I supposed I am.”,Kahlil chuckled and sitting up straight, stated:”I am not from Thedas. Nor the Fade before you can assume or ask.”

Silence met him. No one moved.

“Where I am from we have fictitious stories about other places and the events that happen there. At least I believed them to be fictitious.”,Kahlil explained quickly, hands clenched together again,”I had… studied the stories about Thedas quite thoroughly before through some unknown event I was placed in Highever. I believe I was placed in Lori’s path to help her with events to come.”

More silence.

“You… know the future?”,Leliana asked hesitantly and Kahlil felt a surge of relief. He inclined his head and sighed:”Yes and no. I read about possible outcomes of three stories in Thedas. The fifth Blight was one of them. I read about the people involved and what choices the protagonist was faced with.”

Finally Sten rose up from his seat.

“Enough. I will not listen to these lies.”,he declared and Kahlil grimaced, saying:”I understand this is hard to believe without any proof. Lori can attest that she saw my true home in the Fade at the Circle.”

Morrigan waved a hand at Kahlil with a sneer.

“You cannot simply expect us to believe these fabrications and say your fellow Warden can support them. Especially because your fellow Warden is absent.”

Sten began to walk away and Kahlil felt panic flare in him. In the time since they had freed Sten, he had come to appreciate Sten’s mostly silent company. He did not want the future Arishok to think ill of him.

“I know where to find Asala!”,he blurted without thinking and Sten froze. Kahlil forced himself not to flinch when the massive qunari turned to glare at him and in the deepest voice he had heard from him, Sten growled:”Explain.”

Very much aware how Leliana and Morrigan were glancing between the two, Kahlil cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Asala was found by a scavenger. He sold it to a dwarf on his way to Redcliffe. We can find Asala in Redcliffe the next time we go there.”,Kahlil summarised and Sten kept his violet eyes locked on him. Finally he inclined his head and stated:”I will keep my doubts until Asala is in my hand. Until then I will follow for now.”

Sten walked off and Kahlil released the breath he had been holding. Morrigan though let out a disgusted sound and rose from her seat, exclaiming:”Claim what you like, Warden! I will not be taken for a fool!”

That said, she slunk off to her tent which left Kahlil with a still very quiet Leliana. He buried his face in his hands and felt himself tremble. When was the last time he had felt so nervous or afraid? He had felt more in control with Lori, Alistair and Zevran because he had a good foundation with them already. This though? He wanted Sten’s and Morrigan’s approval.

Kahlil raised his head when Leliana placed a hand on his shoulder and she smiled awkwardly at him.

“So you read of the characters during the fifth Blight as well? Does that include myself?”,she asked, trying to sound chipper. It was strained though. Kahlil smiled anyway. She was trying at least to believe him. He nodded and murmured:”One of the reasons I wanted to bring it up really. I thought we could make a… preemptive strike against someone from your past.”

Leliana’s eyes widened in shock before she sagged in sorrow.

“Marjolaine.”

“She will or is coming for you.”,Kahlil warned, placing his hand over hers,”From what I remember she will continue to hunt you. She will not believe that you do not want revenge. You know too much that could harm her and she wants you dead.”

He felt her tighten her hold on his shoulder and then slip her hand out from under his. Leliana pushed back some of her red hair and smiled at the fire. The smile didn’t reach her eyes though. They remained sad as she murmured:“Perhaps we should settle this score for good.”

Kahlil stared into the flames and watched them dance. He felt tired now. Perhaps he would be able to get some actual sleep. No nightmares or worries for their second band could keep him awake if he was exhausted.

Right?

“This has troubled you.”

Leliana’s quiet voice brought Kahlil out of his thoughts and he smiled weakly at her.

“Am I so transparent?”,he asked and Leliana tilted her head curiously, saying:”Not to a stranger, but we have traveled for some time now. You are trembling, mon ami.”

Kahlil glanced at his hands and clenched them into fists when he saw them shaking slightly. He chuckled and shook his head, straightening in his seat. With a shrug he sighed:”I have come to care what you all think of me. If all of you had decided I was insane and cast me aside… I do not know if I would have survived.”

Leliana blinked in surprise and Kahlil grimaced when he saw the unspoken confusion.

“This is all so strange to me, Leliana. I did not know this was all real and to suddenly wake up in a world not my own… If I did not have all of you, I am afraid that the experience would have broken me. As it is I feel like I only have a tentative hold on my sanity.”,he confessed and looked down to avoid meeting her eyes. Kahlil jumped when he felt a smack against his head and he reached up, startled. Leliana pouted at him and exclaimed:”As if I would abandon a friend that quickly!”

Leliana continued to mutter angrily in Orlesian and poked at the fire with a stick. Kahlil felt his lips curl into a smile and he inclined his head to her.

“Thank you.”


End file.
